Have you ever seen that meme? Isn't it true though? I am so lucky to be surrounded (mostly) by really fabulous human beings: thoughtful, considerate, nice to me, grateful, hard working, self starting, optimistic, upbeat and HONEST. Honesty is important... especially when you're being honest with yourself.
Every now and then I am put through the fire though. I hate. Yep - It is true. I become a hater. Then I walk through silent doldrums.
I remember someone told me what some other person was doing to them, and I said, "Wow - that person hates you! What ever did you do to him/her?"
... Sometimes, probably all the time, you don't want to know... And I wish I didn't know.
Ignorance is Bliss.
Sometimes, you don't want to know and you certainly don't want to live it. And then you find that talking about it is just gossip. They won't change, they will lie about it and you have better things to do.
My friend who is a therapist showed me this video which helps ... in the way that makes me know things will not change (insert serenity prayer here).
"Because lying is pretty darn useful ... like in life .. " :) It's funny stuff :)
“A merry heart does good like a medicine: but a broken spirit dries the bones.”
– Proverbs 17:22
Don't be the one with the dry bones, I remind myself. The reason a person is this way is BECAUSE they're broken. How broken - broken beyond repair(?) - is the big million dollar question. SO this is something to try to understand, not be, and move on. The frustration isn't going away, the person may never change and things are the way they are. (again, insert serenity prayer here)
If you are in a state like this: where you're just frustrated and something is just dead end, get out. Get out as soon as you can. And, if you have been violated, tell someone. Don't be afraid of happy changes and find healthy ways to vent it out: write, get a therapist, go dancing, rip up a box with a picture on it... whatever you do, don't steep in it, don't mull around in it and don't let it identify you.
I won't say things are simple, actually. Things can get quite complicated. Complicated is not my style. Sometimes you find yourself in complicated situations. Sometimes our truth can betray us. This is often when I simply meditate and let my mind and heart try to find answers to sometimes very complicated, subtle and nuanced situations - because after all, in MY life I want peace.
What are "complicated" situations? For example, I’m watching Concussion right now late at night and it's right in the middle where we have this doctor who finds and names the injury that is driving American football players mad, but the NFL want to block him. They threaten him and his friends and force him to move through intimidation. This is what is known as "power" ... but it is only temporary because it doesn't hold truth. The doctor suffers through and is lucky he can sustain himself in another part of the country for years and lives a happy life.. until one day, they call him back. His truth now is undeniable. They MUST acknowledge it and they seek his help. This is not true power... it is a lie.
Yesterday I was reading about Corey Feldman coming clean about being molested when he was young … eleven actually. His friend and co-worker was also there and was raped. It occurs to me that there is a lot we don't want to talk about. I understand why. Furthermore, he understands the messy red tape he would put himself through if he started naming names and taking people out of their positions in society - especially due to the California statute of limitations. So he remains quiet and lives his life. We can only hope that a sense of awareness is heightened in the industry.
But, really, Why? Why don’t we talk about these things? Rape and pedophilia and concussions … Not pleasant subjects yet people keep . on . doing . these . horrible . things.
Feldman's story comes on the wake of the BBC scandals. Thirty something years for that BBC guy. THIRTY YEARS? And the other guy .. 450 ABUSED? No one said anything? WHY? HOW? How could Hall and Savile do what they did and further more feel justified in doing it? Hall went so far as to even threaten his accusers. Is this what we’re doing to our stars? And this is the price of fans and proteges - to be molested, threatened and for them to remain silent? This ego, this pavlov’s dog, rewarded by our applause and dollars who is so weak in the mind to succumb to base desire regardless of the cost … this is what we are raising up? Why? Because they can buy you a drink? Because the own a business? Because they make good “wine", have connections or are a producer in Hollywood?
Yes. That’s why. And we are just as weak for it.
I often wondered why Gloria O’Keefe would live out her beautiful life alone. Surely, I thought, someone would want to love her. But she rejected it. I couldn’t figure out why. Maybe now I know. Maybe it IS because mankind is untrustworthy. There IS no one unselfish enough to share a life. There wasn’t then and, maybe, there isn’t now. Better to just be alone. Rely on yourself and that be that. But I hate to be a pessimist. And I do see the GOOD in the people who aren't bad - I can feel it in their energy as well. Pray this never dulls.
Top Five Ways to Deal with Negative Emotions
1. Meditate. This can the most difficult thing because your mind will wander. That is why I have the next item.
2. WRITE. Just grab your phone notepad or a pen and allow all those words to come out of you. Just write. No matter the order of the words or what the words are - you can burn it, save it, transform it and it is yours to do with whatever you like. The important things is GET IT OUT OF YOU. Then you may find, you will rest for a bit, maybe five minutes, maybe ten - THIS is your meditation. You might find the space to draw or dance or read or get back to work. If you get interrupted, maybe you will find an itching desire to get back to it - Get back to your flow.
3. EAT YOUR VEGGIES! When I found myself feeling down, I upped my green veggies, mushrooms and played with a few supplements. The one I am really liking right now has Vitamin D, Fish Oil and Magnesium and is called Sunny Mood. I also got Hanah One, but I didn't notice too much of a change. And I started a green raw food smoothie practice. The combination actually is making me sway away from drinking too much coffee, yet I feel clear and awake. You can have a lot of fun cooking fun veggie dishes as well like this zucchini and portabella pizza!
4. GET OUTSIDE. If you can't get outside, at least get to the gym. Get a workout in. Move your body. You will find your body will start producing all these great feel good endogenous opioid neuropeptides and neurotransmitters like endorphins and serotonin that make your mind feel delicious and help you get a good night's rest. So run, do yoga, climb a tree, go for a hike, lift weights, run up and down the stairs - who cares! Move that body.
5. HUG SOMEBODY. Or maybe your dog or cat or hamster. Visit a shelter or your mom. Find some warm fuzzies in a nice conversation with a co-worker or just give a hand to someone in need - even if all they need is a donut. Smile! FaceTime a far away BFF just to say Boo! Or Hello! Or whatever! Send good energy all around you and others. Hug yourself, love yourself, accept yourself, be humble and full of gratitude and feel good.